Monday, October 1, 2012

One Year Ago




Life is delicate.  It is fragile beyond words.  We hear this all the time but rarely do we grasp the full truth.  Rarely do we feel the full impact.  The last few weeks have brought this reality into view in a harsh and difficult way. 

Today is a special day.  One year ago Rachel and Matt were married in Stillwater.  The weather was perfect.  The sun illuminated an already bright and beautiful love.  The fall breeze was soft and the laughter was constant.  There was undeniable joy.   No one could have expected what life would bring just 11 months later.

Just a few weeks ago, Matt passed away suddenly and unexpectedly.  After just twenty-eight short years, those whom he so greatly impacted had to say goodbye.   I’ve cried, like so many who knew and loved Matt and know and love Rachel.  A picture from their perfect day hangs in my office- and each time I look at it my heart is nearly bursting with emotion. 

To have known their love in a unique way… to have known Rachel for years and then see her and Matt get engaged, prepare for their wedding, and become one.  To have understood the way they balanced one another, complimented each other, and harmonized with one another was a privilege.  To then follow them through their entire wedding and see even more how much he adored her and she radiated joy around him was an honor.   To have spent time with Rachel in the last few weeks and see a heart-broken wife learning again what it means to breathe each day.  To breathe in and out, take one step and then another.  To know that no words can encapsulate what she is experiencing and no actions on my part can ease the pain. 

So when I look at that image of Matt and Rachel in my office, I feel a deep sorrow.  But somewhere beneath that is an unrelenting joy.  It is a thankfulness that Rachel and Matt shared years of memories, sweet love and growth and change.  It is happiness that they had what was the most incredible wedding day and were husband and wife for 11 months.  It is a knowing that both Rachel and Matt were better for knowing and loving each other- and that nothing, even untimely death, can take that away. 

Through tears, Rachel shared how much these photos mean to her. How they captured Matt, how they captured their relationship, the emotions they felt, the way they fit together.  Through tears, I felt gratitude that those images provide her comfort in this time- even if a small comfort.  And I am realizing, among many things during this difficult time, that this isn’t about pictures at all.   It is about people.  It is about purpose.  It is about celebrating love in a way that can be treasured for days, months, years and decades.  It is about not forgetting.  It is about always remembering and finding joy in those memories.

Today is a hard, sad day.  But I want to honor Matt.  He was so full of smiles, joy, laughter.; he lived life fully.  I want to celebrate Rachel and Matt together.  The time they had was beautiful.  The love they had was undeniable.  I want to encourage each and every person to truly live intentionally.  Live fully and love deeply.  Know that life is so very delicate, and so very fragile.  And yet know that love is real, true and love like theirs lives on…

The picture within my office. 


One of my favorites of them- because it is just so Rachel and Matt.  

A sweet and beautiful love...

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